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Learn More. Jul 26, 1. Black girls are often born into traumatic, abusive, neglectful circumstances- if not physically then emotionally. Edit: I'm primarily speaking to the segment of BW raised in non-predom Black areas.

Suburban as in white environments. This is OUR reality. I know many if not most BW cannot relate, but I'm sorry for some of us this is painfully true.

Black boys are loved, cherished, prized and valued- the parents esp. Moms take pride in women wanting their sons. Black girls often do not get encouraged to date, go out, wear makeup, get "grown" hairstyles, or taught how to interact with men.

We aren't given femininity by our moms- taken shopping, going to nail salons, etc. We don't get called pretty by our family, and if anything may be put down.

We are raised to fear dating, sexuality, and any efforts at self-beautification. We should NOT chase men. From experience, more yt girls are counseled and encouraged maybe too much so lol to finesse and "level up" from around the age of They know how to target and attract men- although for many their "feminism", increasing weight, and increased global competition via a move towards "ethnic" features big butt, lips, etc.

We get to college-age and are way behind in dating, and at this point fear men, and have reduced esteem. Even if a girl did date, its shrouded in secrecy and shame.

We don't know how to be attractive, and think any man's positive attention is dangerous. I meant we are taught to hide our bodies, cover up, be ashamed of our beauty, not flaunt and show our natural figures.

Classic Black Girl Shape is attention-seeking by design! Are we not sometimes shamed from wearing shorts, tank tops, etc.?

We truly are outnumbering BM and would need to start dating out to match marriage rates of other races unfortunately. But at this point, we don't know HOW to date!

Stop scaring your daughters out of sexuality and healthy dating relationships. Last edited: Jul 26, Jul 26, 2.

This is very deep. Truly sad. I think it applies to a segment of bw bc I honestly know many who were raised opposite, by I guess more progressive parents.

I met many bw along the way who said their mother was their BFF and they could talk to them about anything. Thanks x 46 Hugs! Jul 26, 3. Thanks x Hugs!

Jul 26, 4. I think the issue comes that the women in our community who are supposed to guide us have no idea how to navigate dating or sexual relationships.

My parents were married. They provided no guidance or advice on dating. The only thing my mom did right was allow me to have male friends without sexualizing them or blowing it out id proportion.

In all honesty those of us who don't come from healthy homes or enviornments need to look for relationship guidance OUTSIDE of our communities.

That doesn't automatically mean Non-black guidance. It just means seeking mentorship and understanding from women and men who are in relationships and communities that you would personally want to be in.

My belifs on dating and relationships have been shaped by a few powerful and dominant women that I had the pleasure of meeting in my life.

Frankly I think what most women believe about dating and their relationships to men is completely wrong and fucked up.

Thanks x 83 Hugs! Jul 26, 5. You hit the nail on the head especially when you said having crushes around years old is normal.

This is true but theres more to the story than that, consequently I had to learn about men on my own whilst getting heart broken and having my self esteem crushed.

Thanks x 80 Hugs! Jul 26, 6. Thanks x 59 Skeptical x 7 Disagree! Jul 26, 7. What makes you think young black girls are NOT being taught that?

And what makes you think others are taught that more frequently? Jul 26, 8. Question which black women arent encouraged to go out, do there hair, makeup, grown hairstyles, and etc?

I agree with actual dating point though. My grandma told my mom to not bring up boys argument to her until shes The rest I disagree though.

Thanks x Jul 26, 9. And just to add, this thing of us not being "feminine" agrees with the women who claim we should be fighting for transwomen because we're not traditional women just like them.

Why are we buying into this? I've never felt I have to prove my womanhood. If black men don't see our womanhood, that's on them!

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